Andee reads my draft...

I've been so damned nervous about my Setrap book (is one allowed to say damned and Setrap in the same sentence) - even though I finished the first draft by Christmas last year, I've been fretting about it being not good enough. Is my faith in Setrap not strong enough that it would be successful? It was more like my faith in myself was not strong enough. Anyway, Andee - one of KMP's senior writers and known for being extremely critical of Dharma books - finally took a look at my draft.

Andee's face was inscrutable and I practically held my breath when he was reading through it - my intestines proceeded to perform triple axels. He turned each page slowly and measuredly and just as I was about to pass out from pure consternation, he finally looked up and said he liked it!

What a relief... of course he hadn't read it all yet - but whether he was simply being kind and compassionate to a budding writer or he really liked it, I'm just going to take his feedback at face value and continue to refine the book with added confidence!

Thanks, Andee - you know how to make a writer feel good..

An ode to my Guru

His loving kindness
gently mends our broken,
confused, fractured lives,
casting an invisible breath
of blessings on mothers, fathers,
children, husbands, wives.

Sometimes he sends
a soft, velvet nudge to all,
sometimes it’s an
urgent blaring, clarion call
to us to dig ourselves out
from under the mud we call ‘me’
to uncover the Buddha we can be.

In this changing world
where nothing makes sense,
Where dreams are false and
full of impermanence,
He shines a beacon
Of logic and strength.
So when we weaken,
Falter or fall,
He’s always there
to guide us through
from near, far or anywhere
and teach us how
to transcend it all.

Stunned by love

While at the thangka exhibition yesterday, I decided to buy one. I agonised over which I preferred - the beautiful blue Medicine Buddha with gold brocade, or the unframed Chakrasambhava - Heruka and Vajrayogini in cosmic embrace or the three long life deities - the exquisite White Tara with Amitayus and Namgyalma. - or... the list was endless but those three particularly caught my eye. I asked Susan which she preferred but we still couldn't decide. Eventually, we both decided on the three long life deities.

I particularly loved the face of White Tara so whipped out my credit card and with a swipe and bated breath whether my credit card would bounce, it was ours. I had already planned where I wanted to put it.. in the dining area of our house, so I would see it every time I came downstairs. I asked Susan if she thought Rinpoche would sign on the back for us, and she said she thought he would - we would just request for it through the ladrang staff and hope for the best.

Happy with our acquisition, we then just continued with looking after KMP table and helping out at the exhibition where we could. Our shift ended at 4pm but we were still there till around 6. GL came and we went for an early dinner at a Korean restaurant nearby. Then Ruby called and asked if we'd be there til 10pm. We weren't planning to be, but if we needed to, sure.. why not. Susan said - why not ask her to come over to our house? I was like well I don't know what she wants, let's just wait til she gets back.

Anyway, around 8pm, Ruby came over and said ask the others to come, there's new stock.. so we rushed over to 'kay po' (busy body!). Then we followed her round the corner and Ruby stopped in front of the thangka we bought.

Then she told us that Rinpoche wanted to make the thangka a gift to us. And he had written on the back and.. he even put his thumbprint and seal on it.

We were stunned.

When I saw his writing on the back, I couldn't help but burst into tears. I was so touched by his kindness. Thinking of it now as I type, I am still feeling very emotional (hah.. so much for equanimity).

He is so very kind and generous. Susan was also speechless. I did immediately think that I was not worthy of such a gift but in the next split second, I decided that I had better make myself worthy then.

So - work harder, do more, contribute more, transform more, kick my own butt more..

Thanks Rinpoche, for your love and kindness and for always being the light.

Tibet comes to the Pyramid

Kechara is holding its first public thangka exhibition at Sunway Pyramid this weekend. Thangkas are exquisite Tibetan paintings - usually of Buddhist deities or mandalas. All the thangkas on exhibition come from Nepal and are brightly coloured with the most elaborate ones painted with real gold. Thangkas are also traditionally brocaded with real gold thread and silks - all the best to represent our offering to the great Englightenment thought.

So the orange wing at LG2 Sunway Pyramid has turned into a Himalayan bazaar overnight - with stunning thangkas, gleaming singing bowls, painted tsatsas, consecrated wealth vases, shiny prayer wheels in copper and brass, silver mandala sets, gold plated serkym sets amongst others. A veritable treasure trove of Tibetan artefacts.

Kunga, our genuine Tibetan artist, who came to Malaysia specially for the exhibition is even giving classes on thangka painting. Joy, assistant director of Kechara Saraswati and other volunteers from her team are also here - showing people how to paint statues.

And we even have Raj, our visiting super tailor from Nepal, who has set up a sewing station to demonstrate the intricate sewing of brocade for the thangkas.

Several Kechara members and friends are sprinkled throughout the aisle, sharing with curious onlookers little known facts and explanations about each item. Of course KMP is here with its little table, which I am manning, offering our Tsongkhapa calendar for sale at a discount since we're already steaming away into January. Poor Tsongkhapa to be on discount, but on the other hand, if we can promote his image to bless more people, why not. It's the motivation that counts after all. KMP also has some of Rinpoche's books and audio book here too. Though officially we weren't really allowed to sell anything - it was meant to just be an exhibition but don't tell anyone, ok?

Anyway, it's all for a good cause. So let's hope we don't get a complaint from Sunway - though if we do, it's nothing new...

Karen meets the Buddha

On New Year's day, Ruby, Karen, Susan and I were at Rakuzen for dinner and JP called up asking if Karen was available for audience with Rinpoche at 8pm the following night. We of course said we were and Karen and I were extremely excited.

So last night, I picked Karen up at 6pm and took her over to KMP to get Susan for dinner. The party grew to include Shin, Yek Yee and JJ, and we left for centrepoint around 7.15pm. Time was running short and my order would have to be slow. In the end I cancelled it and we left centrepoint at 7.45. Fortunately there was no traffic at the overhead bridge and we made it to KH2 in ample time.

Karen was starting to get nervous which made me nervous so I decided to distract her by giving her a quick tour of KH2. Rinpoche arrived soon after and we settled into the audience. I love watching Rinpoche talk to people - he manages to put them at ease so easily and explains complicated things in the simplest, most comprehensible way.

After the audience, Karen said she was blown away by him. She said he brought clarity to her life and that she has much to think about. He had advised her to develop her spiritual side more as that is what will give her fulfilment in the end.

I really hope she takes the blessings he has given her to further her spiritual quest - wherever that lies. Oh shucks.. what I really hope is that she'd come and join us at Kechara - but I guess I shouldn't.

Anyway, we shall see :)