Everything Changes, Nothing Changes

Everything Changes, Nothing Changes?

I don't know about that. It's been a month since I had cheerfully written on the beginning of our prostration retreat. Since then, we have had quite a tumultous time at KMP. Joseph has since left KMP to join Ladrang - a change of portfolio that was felt by all to be the best for Joe personally and professionally. Most importantly, for the sake of his spiritual growth.

Since then, we've also lost Joey - he was finally fired after continuously refusing to be more effective and efficient. Due to his attitude, lack of performance and not following due process for issuing invoices, he was finally asked to leave. Due to Rinpoche's kindness, he was asked to stay on at Naropa House and was given a retreat to do. Unfortunately for Joey, his karmic obscurations are still preventing him from carrying these out.

JJ has also been in trouble. As he is able to perform, he was given a chance to reform his attitude but yesterday, he was up to his old tricks again. It's extremely sad that he has such great potential yet refuses to change.

On Friday, Susan, Shin, Jamie and I came to Penang for the weekend. We had been madly packing as KMP is moving to its own building. We had planned to come to Penang for a long time already - I was going to see my mum perform and help out at the Penang Home for the Aged and Sunday was the KSK fund raising dinner. Although we had agreed to vacate KMP old building by Friday, there was still some stuff lying around. Jamie and I had mopped the kitchen floor on Thursday and the place needed a once over after everything had been left.

Anyway, we had carelessly left David and JJ in charge of cleaning up KMP and happily sailed off into the sunset.

Big mistake.

On Saturday, Rinpoche asked where JJ was. As far as we knew, JJ was in KL. Of course, we had naively trusted that JJ would listen to Rinpoche's instructions to clean up KMP properly and leave for Penang on the last bus on Saturday night. Boy were we wrong. At 2pm on Saturday, JJ was already on his way to Penang and we were the last to know. Worst of all, it had to be Rinpoche who told us where JJ was.

I felt incredibly embarrassed. Not only was I negligent to check on the whereabouts of a reputedly unreliable staff, I also failed to oversee the condition of the property or leave someone competent to supervise and conduct a proper handover. And worst of all, I have to be reminded of my lack of awareness by my Guru. A Guru should not have to do mundane things like make sure a place is clean or check where the staff are. That should've been our job.

Then Rinpoche asked why Shin had to be in Penang so early since the KSK dinner was on Sunday. This was totally my fault as I had strongly persuaded Shin to come with us as we wanted to discuss JJ's issue on the drive down to Penang. I immediately told Rinpoche that Shin had wanted to stay behind but it was me who persuaded her to come to Penang.

After a few smses back and forth, Rinpoche said that KMP new building would be closed for two weeks because of JJ's actions and our lack of responsibility and ownership.

At 2.30am (Sunday morning by then), we had a two hour conference call with Rinpoche, who brought many home truths to us about our issues. All in all, it was a positive call. Suffice to say I learned a lot about responsibility and care. A bit of a late lesson but it's never too late to learn and I can safely say we will not do it again.

Entertaining at Penang Home for the Aged

My mum and aunt, in their 60's, have been doing charity performances in Penang and KL for a couple of years now. Today, they performed at the Home for the Aged and Infirm in Penang.


Despite the un-airconditioned hall, the performers with their costumes put on a fabulous show. Many of the old folks were glued to their seats and I was a bit worried that some of the older men might get palpitations when some of the performances were a bit risque!

The star of the show was really my 88 year old grandma in her debut performance!


Above is the pic of my mum on the left, my grandma in the middle and my aunt on the right. Below is a closeup (mum on left and grandma on right)!



On the far left is my cousin, Adrian, a medical doctor and dermatologist, who flew in from Sydney for a few days just to perform. My aunt, Adrian's mother and my mum's sister, is the one on the far right.

I was very proud of my family - to see the looks on the old folks' faces when watching my family perform was simply marvellous.

KMP's prostration retreat

Yesterday, KMP / KIT / KIM - Joe, Susan, Jamie, Yek Yee, David, Shin, JJ, Joey, Chris, Ms. Han, Julia - started our prostration retreat to collectively undertake 100,000 prostrations. 100,000 prostrations is one of the preliminary practices which all Tibetan Buddhists should complete in our lifetime. Our motley crew have been planning this prostration retreat since last year but somehow it never manifested. Finally, while the new KMP/KIT/KIM building is under renovation, we finally got our act together and requested for HE Tsem Tulku Rinpoche's blessings and advice.

Rinpoche kindly gave us a series of prayers to do, namely the preliminaries, the nine attitudes of Guru Devotion, the eight worldly Dharmas, Guru Yoga and the 35 confessional Buddhas. Our KMP sponsor, Annette Chan, and KMP patron, Professor Choi, were invited to join our retreat and they happily accepted. I dare say every single one was quite excited about starting this endeavour.

The group prostration retreat clears personal and group obstacles, which KMP felt would be very much appropriate as we embark on the next stage of KMP's growth - when we move into our own building.

We started at 10am and gave ourselves an hour for the prayers and prostrations. Yek Yee managed 270, Susan 250 while I only made 108. We gave ourselves 10 weeks to finish the prostrations, averaging 10,000 a week. Watch this space!

Four months

It's been four months since I last blogged. A lot has happened over four months. I don't know even where to begin. One of the highlights was definitely having the honour of being appointed as one of H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche's liaisons. The liaisons are Rinpoche's personal assistants and today, there are 17 of us. The liaisons council runs the entire Kechara organisation under the direction of Rinpoche as our spiritual guide.

The liaisons consist of Rinpoche's students, ranging from senior students who have known Rinpoche for more than a decade to those who have met him for a couple of years. Length of relationship is definitely not the criteria for liaisonship but 110% commitment to the Dharma and to Rinpoche's work is. We all come from different ages, educational and occupational and other backgrounds yet we are able to happily work together towards a common goal, continuously supporting each other through our personal transformations and growth in order to benefit others. Of course we're not all bodhisattvas - far from it - but at least we know what we aspire to and we have a kind and compassionate Guru who will show us how.

Insomnia

Woke up at 5am this morning and couldn't sleep... it's kind of weird because I only had like 4 hours sleep yesterday and the night before. Maybe it's jet lag from Bandar Utama to Bangsar. Thursday night was spent revamping the ksk website, and though it's nothing near our flashy Tsemtulku.com site, I'm quite proud of my work kskcommunity.org! Friday night was spent with Rinpoche, an amazing experience as always and ended in the wee hours of the morning.

Then I had to wake up before 10am yesterday to have a photo shoot with some kind donors of an all women's sporting group, Dboleh's team 'wind', towards an SIPJ project. We then decided to go to visit Sheila, the receipt of the donation. Sheila is an autistic girl whom SIPJ is sponsoring for a few months. When we first met her, she was very unkempt and had no social skills due to neglect. After 2 months, she has blossomed and we were very happy to receive donations towards her care. It costs RM1400 per month for board and lodging as well as special coaching.

After that, Susan had to go for a land blessing and Sean and I went to distribute food for KSK. Traffic in town was atrocious, with roads closed off for the election rallies. While waiting in the stagnant traffic and then being told by the traffic cops that I was in the wrong lane so I couldn't turn right (I wasn't in the wrong lane), I had my first real regret that I had not registered to vote!

Anyway, I tried not to have negative thoughts since I was supposed to be emanating positive energy while doing community service. It was my first time driving the Pudu Market route on my own, and for company I had Madam Han Nee, a retired lady, and Sean, my 10 year old. It was really three generations in one car. When we arrived at Pudu Market, we didn't find many of our usual clients except for one who ranted and raved at Mdm Lim, fortunately from a distance.

We finished around 8 and after depositing Mdm Lim at Central Market, Sean and I went to see my mum at Crown Princess Hotel. She arrived today with her sisters and the St. George's Girls' School alumni group to perform for a charity event today.

By the time I reached my mum, she'd already had dinner so Sean and I grabbed a quick bite and headed home. I should be sleeping til the cows come home but somehow I wasn't sleepy. So here I am.

Maybe I'll read something trashy - that usually puts me to sleep.