Everything Changes, Nothing Changes

Everything Changes, Nothing Changes?

I don't know about that. It's been a month since I had cheerfully written on the beginning of our prostration retreat. Since then, we have had quite a tumultous time at KMP. Joseph has since left KMP to join Ladrang - a change of portfolio that was felt by all to be the best for Joe personally and professionally. Most importantly, for the sake of his spiritual growth.

Since then, we've also lost Joey - he was finally fired after continuously refusing to be more effective and efficient. Due to his attitude, lack of performance and not following due process for issuing invoices, he was finally asked to leave. Due to Rinpoche's kindness, he was asked to stay on at Naropa House and was given a retreat to do. Unfortunately for Joey, his karmic obscurations are still preventing him from carrying these out.

JJ has also been in trouble. As he is able to perform, he was given a chance to reform his attitude but yesterday, he was up to his old tricks again. It's extremely sad that he has such great potential yet refuses to change.

On Friday, Susan, Shin, Jamie and I came to Penang for the weekend. We had been madly packing as KMP is moving to its own building. We had planned to come to Penang for a long time already - I was going to see my mum perform and help out at the Penang Home for the Aged and Sunday was the KSK fund raising dinner. Although we had agreed to vacate KMP old building by Friday, there was still some stuff lying around. Jamie and I had mopped the kitchen floor on Thursday and the place needed a once over after everything had been left.

Anyway, we had carelessly left David and JJ in charge of cleaning up KMP and happily sailed off into the sunset.

Big mistake.

On Saturday, Rinpoche asked where JJ was. As far as we knew, JJ was in KL. Of course, we had naively trusted that JJ would listen to Rinpoche's instructions to clean up KMP properly and leave for Penang on the last bus on Saturday night. Boy were we wrong. At 2pm on Saturday, JJ was already on his way to Penang and we were the last to know. Worst of all, it had to be Rinpoche who told us where JJ was.

I felt incredibly embarrassed. Not only was I negligent to check on the whereabouts of a reputedly unreliable staff, I also failed to oversee the condition of the property or leave someone competent to supervise and conduct a proper handover. And worst of all, I have to be reminded of my lack of awareness by my Guru. A Guru should not have to do mundane things like make sure a place is clean or check where the staff are. That should've been our job.

Then Rinpoche asked why Shin had to be in Penang so early since the KSK dinner was on Sunday. This was totally my fault as I had strongly persuaded Shin to come with us as we wanted to discuss JJ's issue on the drive down to Penang. I immediately told Rinpoche that Shin had wanted to stay behind but it was me who persuaded her to come to Penang.

After a few smses back and forth, Rinpoche said that KMP new building would be closed for two weeks because of JJ's actions and our lack of responsibility and ownership.

At 2.30am (Sunday morning by then), we had a two hour conference call with Rinpoche, who brought many home truths to us about our issues. All in all, it was a positive call. Suffice to say I learned a lot about responsibility and care. A bit of a late lesson but it's never too late to learn and I can safely say we will not do it again.