My parents meet the Buddha

My mum rang up on Wednesday and said they may come down to KL on Friday to see 'My Fair Lady', which was on at the KL Convention Centre. Might, I asked? Please let me know.. She confirmed on Thursday and asked if she could bring her friend. I said of course and promptly went into overdrive, cleaning up the house. Her friend would take my master bedroom, my parents take the guest room and I would sleep with Sean in his room. Since the driver was coming too, the maid would sleep in Sean's room too as he would occupy the maid's room. Webby had to move to Pyng's place - for the sake of simplicity rather than duplicity. It would just be too complicated to explain. And the house was full anyway!

I asked my mum - since you're in KL, would you like to meet Rinpoche? She was lukewarm at first but appeared to be slightly more enthusiastic later, saying her friend was also keen to meet Rinpoche. So I contacted Ruby to find out if the audience was possible on Saturday evening - probably the only time conducive for Rinpoche. There was no news. My parents had to plan their time because they were just there for the weekend. When my parents arrived on Friday and mum asked me again, I just said I thought it was unlikely because it was too short a notice. I asked Ruby again and she kindly confirmed that there was still no news. Finally I just told my parents to go ahead with their plans and they decided to have dinner with the GM of Park Royal Hotel and his wife.

On Saturday itself, Ruby (poor Ruby - always so busy on other people's behalf) smsed me - Rinpoche did agree to a meeting at 10.30pm! I quickly asked if it could be more towards 11pm, to give us time to get from Park Royal to KH. It was all set! I didn't know if I was happy or nervous.. maybe a combination of both. It was like presenting the one you love to your parents and hoping for approval on both sides.

Finally, at 11pm, we got to KH. The all night migtsema session was in progress and I introduced my parents to KH, Setrap as well as many of my KH friends. At around 11.30pm, we were finally ushered in to see Rinpoche.

Rinpoche greeted them and the four of us - my dad, Puan Sri, my mum and I - sat down in front of him. After some small talk, Rinpoche asked if they had any questions, to which there was no response. Rinpoche then asked me if there were any questions of a spiritual nature that they had asked me before. Actually there weren't any because we didn't really discuss anything much anyway, whether spiritual or not! I said that while we were Buddhists, we didn't actually do anything Buddhist except for Ching Ming, which wasn't a Buddhist ceremony anyway. My mum said that she did it by rote but didn't really see the point of it, especially as she did not know her mother-in-law, who had passed away before she met my dad.

Rinpoche proceeded to give a brief history of Ching Ming and that it was mostly about filial piety. He also gave a brief description of the death process, which struck a chord with my parents. Also, when we make offerings at Ching Ming, it's to say thank you to the ancestors for loved ones - in this case, thanking her in-laws for her husband. Talking about filial piety, Rinpoche brought up that I was doing a lot of Dharma work and dedicating it to my parents, and that my hope was for them to learn more about Dharma. And that I was not just concerned about this life but their future lives as well. I got a bit emotional at that point and so did my Dad.

When my dad first came in, he had his arms crossed and I wasn't sure how he would react to Rinpoche, but later on, he relaxed and was even nodding at what Rinpoche was saying. When my dad wept, my heart really went out to him and I hope Dharma seeds will be planted for my parents so they can benefit forever.

As always, I was - and am - truly grateful to Rinpoche for spending the precious time with my parents, despite his busy schedule. And for the precious gift of touching them with the Dharma.

Taking Refuge

I took Refuge with HE Tsem Tulku Rinpoche on Vesak Day 2007.

Why Refuge
Why take Refuge, many friends - Buddhists and non-Buddhists have asked. The explanation is simple. In order to have opportunities for us to have spiritual growth, we need merits. In order to get merits, we need to do various Dharma activities. One of the ways to earn merits is to hold vows. For example, if we don't lie anyway, we don't get merit, it's neither positive or negative. But if we take a vow not to lie, and we uphold that vow, we earn merits to help us in our spiritual journey.

Missed Refuge
I had wanted to take Refuge when Rinpoche first offered it on Tsongkhapa Day in December 2006. He is not known to give Refuge easily but i had long planned to go skiing in Canada in December.. I was wracked by guilt for months after that perhaps i should have canceled my frivolous trip and stayed to take refuge. After all - what does it say about my priorities? Anyway, on that trip, I had my share of purification, skiing by day and transcribing CDs of Rinpoche's marathon 3 day talk by night. I fell sick by the third day and didn't ski for 3 days. Could barely transcribe even - although Susan and I managed to finish our allocated CDs within the agreed timeframe. But i digress.

So when JT sent an email around a couple of weeks ago to ask if anyone wanted to seek Refuge as Vesak day was coming up, I was quite excited and asked Susan if she wanted to take Refuge too. I felt it was a momentous decision and not one to be taken lightly.

Almost missed Refuge (again)
Ironically, I might have missed this Refuge opportunity too, as a good friend of mine, Pat, had asked me to join her and Adam to go to Tibet. She is based in Shanghai and planned to take the train from Shanghai to Tibet - a journey which would take around 52 hours but go through some amazing scenery. In spring, the views would have been spectacular. We would be gone for about 10 days - right through Vesak day and beyond.

I really wanted to go. I'd always wanted to go to Tibet. I absolutely love travelling with Pat - my dear and completely mad friend, with whom I have had many a memorable vacation. I hadn't spent time with Pat for years. She was stationed in Bangkok for the longest time and I had never made it to visit her - somehow there was never enough time. And now she's moved to Shanghai. So spending 10 days together would have been so great.

I had asked Susan and GL if they wanted to join on this trip. When the trip was first canvassed, Susan was in Ladrang, so it was unlikely that she could get leave - even though Rinpoche had said that as long as each person's duties were covered, they could take leave. Then nothing changes, everything changes - Susan was assigned to KMP (Kechara Media and Publications) so again, I thought maybe she could still come to Tibet. Or maybe I'd go to Tibet without her. After asking GL a few times, I felt that she wasn't really keen either. So when the question of refuge came up, I was glad I didn't commit to go to Tibet after all!

Preparing for Refuge
After shopping for offerings at YMT (Yogini Mystical Treasures in Lot 10), I was very excited and looked forward to Vesak day to seek refuge. However, obstacles always arise as usual - and we heard from JT that actually Rinpoche wasn't granting refuge on Vesak day but that the names of those who were requesting refuge would be submitted to Rinpoche on Vesak day.

I was crestfallen.

Why, why, why can't he grant Refuge on Vesak day? I asked with childish impatience. Because the events of the day was too packed already was the answer. JT said that Rinpoche could grant refuge on the real Vesak day which falls on 31 May. Real Vesak day? You mean this year's is not real? Apparently, Malaysia had decreed that Vesak day be held on May 1st this year while normally it's on 31st. I was quite dumbfounded by this but was quickly resigned to it and took it in my stride.

Vesak Day - Refuge at last
Then on Vesak day - when Rinpoche came to give a Dharma talk in the evening, he said he would grant Refuge that very night! Wow - it was so unexpected. Susan slipped out home to get our offerings and came back in time. Technically speaking, we received Refuge on 2 May as it was already about 1am when we were conferred refuge, but since 1 May wasn't really Vesak day, I guess it didn't really matter!

Rinpoche gave a short talk about Refuge and invited anyone who was present to join in. The initial group of people seeking Refuge were 14 - in the end there were almost double that number. Even a couple who had come to KH for the first time that day came to seek Refuge.

Rinpoche led us through the vows of Refuge - simple common sense rules to life - to not kill, lie, steal, not perform sexual misconduct (hmmm that one's a killer.. sigh)...no intoxicants (no booze, no drugs... )

When we recited our vows three times, we were granted Refuge, and we were given our Refuge names. Mine was 'Yangchenma'. Most people had two refuge names, Rinpoche said, but mine would be just one. Yangchenma is the Tibetan version of Saraswati - the Goddess of the Arts and Music. Then Rinpoche said add 'Tenzin' in front of 'Yangchenma' - but very small and in parenthesis. So it's like (Tenzin) Yangchenma.

He then gave us the oral transmission or 'lung' of Migtsema and the long and short mantras for Lama Tsongkhapa. Oral transmission is central to the transmission of teachings in the Tibetan tradition. When a prayer is given to a student from a qualified teacher in the form of a direct oral transmission, the benefits of the prayers will be amplified for the practitioner.

From today on, I can say 'I am a Buddhist' with conviction. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So here we go!

Day of Miracles

Yesterday was the day of Miracles - when whatever good deeds we do get multiplied by 100 million times. Sounds good, doesn't it. It started off past midnight (technically an extension of Friday night, when we had a fundraising dinner).. so I quickly took the opportunity to give a small donation and hoped it would translate to some merit. I idly wondered what was the current exchange rate for merit. By 1.50 am or thereabouts, we'd raised over RM108,000 - yay! It had been a fabulous dinner/party/auction... everything went flawlessly because of the hard work of the team. May you all gain a trillion merits!

Anyway on Saturday I decided to do my write up for the dinner instead of chatting on the internet, and in the evening, I wanted to go for the KSK (Kechara Soup Kitchen). It was raining hard and GL who was supposed to come with me had to cancel because something came up. I smsed David and Joseph to see if they were going but they had other commitments so while I was contemplating how I would get to Semua House, JJ and Meng Kiat kindly offered to pick me up Yay! So at 6.30pm, JJ, Meng Kiat, Eng Shan, Karen and I walked around Masjid India, looking for the homeless to offer food to.

It is an interesting process because firstly, you're walking around the pasar malam where there is so much delicious food on offer, and instead of shopping for food for yourself, you're looking for people to give food to. Fortunately the rain didn't last very long - i suspect Rinpoche had something to do with that!

We finished by around 9.15pm and Meng Kiat offered to drop me home, but i managed to catch a lift with Ben instead. Just as Ben and i were leaving the car park, someone wanted to borrow car jumper cables, which Ben happened to have - yay - more merits for Ben!

I finally reached home around 9.45pm and hopped into the shower. THen, I took Sean along to KH for migtsema... the hours were running out and the Day of Miracles was ending too fast! I only did four rounds when Sean piped up that he was tired. I had wanted to do six rounds but since it was almost 11.30 pm by then, I relented and took him home.

At almost midnight, I went over to Pyng's for dinner. Serina was cooking but I had told them I would be late. When I rolled up, Swee had also just arrived and took the last spot on the driveway so I had to cruise around Bangsar looking for parking. Not an easy task but I found one a short stroll away. Then when I got into Pyng's, they said the food was finished. I hadn't realised how hungry I was and was about to cry (yes, I'm so attached). I was thinking - so much for Day of Miracles... my karma must be so crap. At first, no parking then no food. Pout. Anyway Pyng raided her fridge and got me some yummy sambal prawns and rice which i devoured and felt so much better. Isn't suffering so transient.

By 1.30ish am, I was ready to pass out and went home. I hadn't done as much as I wanted to and definitely not as much as I should have, but I hope I got a few millimerits more and will just have to work a lot harder for the rest of the year.

Walking with the Buddha

A couple of days ago, i went to pick up webbie from the ladrang for dinner. As i was just round the corner, she rang and said Rinpoche wants to go for a walk at TTDI park, do you want to come? I was more than happy to - but i was wearing clothes for dinner, not for walking! When i arrived, Jenny Wong lent me a pair of brightly coloured shorts which came down to my knees, and Webbie had a spare T shirt in her drawer which i quickly changed into. They decided to go in my car but I was a bit nervous about driving Rinpoche so i asked Jenny to drive instead. I sat in the back with Webbie and we waited for Rinpoche outside his house.

He got into the front seat of the car and being over 6 foot tall, he had to push back the seat to the max. My previously spacious toyota altis seemed filled with Rinpoche! It was a quick drive to the park and the park was quite deserted at 7.30ish in the evening. Rinpoche had brought handfuls of fruits to feed the monkeys, and they scampered up as they saw us. "Look, they remember me," Rinpoche said with a smile. He whispered om mani padme hum as he happily doled out the fruit to the group of congregating monkeys. We also brought nuts which were strewn in corners for the monkeys to help themselves.

When all the fruits and nuts were given out, we started to walk round the park. Rinpoche's stride is like twice any of ours and we trotted to keep up. We talked about a variety of subjects - from the frivilous to serious - and the two and a half hours passed in a blink of an eye. If not for a blister on my foot and my muscles which were objecting to the uncommon demand to move, i could have walked all night. During the walk, Rinpoche had kindly advised me on some personal matters and that i should let go of certain attachments which made things much clearer for me.

It was such a luxury to have the precious opportunity to walk with the Buddha. I hope he'll invite me again :)

The kindness of my Guru

Gosh - it's been an age since i last wrote in my blog! I've been so busy that blogging was the last thing on my mind...So many things have happened - and i'm not about to rechronicle them all in one long monologue.

I'd just like to share something that happened in December last year.

Webby, her mum, Sean, Pyng, GL, Serina, Pik Choo and myself had booked to go skiing in Whistler in December. The trip had been booked almost a year ago. I hadn't skied for over 10 years and couldn't wait. It promised to be a fabulous trip!

Then one Sunday morning, a week before our departure, i received an SMS early in the morning - it was a message from my Guru, advising that i don't ski. I was caught in a flux of emotions - disappointment and gratitude. I shed some tears of disappointment that i couldn't ski, but yet i was so touched and thankful that Rinpoche is looking out for someone as insignificant as me. He has so many students - how does he look after them all, i wondered.

Anyway, i pulled myself out of the disappointment and dwelled in the gratitude of my Guru's kindness. Around that time, the writers group were going to be given a project of transcribing a marathon 3 day talk of Rinpoche's and publishing it as a book in one month. Webby and i knew we were going to be travelling so we had been wracking our heads how to do our portion of work.

When i received the sms advice that i shouldn't ski, i replied to Rinpoche to thank him for his kind advice and that on the bright side, i could do more transcribing!

Anyway, i had happily accepted the fact that i wasn't going to ski - after all, i could even save money as i wouldn't be renting skis and buying the ski pass. When i told some of my friends about Rinpoche's advice, they had asked me - so are you going to ski? I was like.. dur.. of course not!!

On Wednesday, the first day of the 3 day marathon teaching began.

Rinpoche came in, sat down and asked me to come up front..

i was a bit taken aback and wondered what i'd done wrong! I felt like i was back in school and was summoned by the teacher to the front of the class.

i sat down in front of him and i don't remember his exact words because i was already in a daze but he said said something to the effect that because i had faith in his advice and would follow it without question, that faith would allow him to do a ritual which would remove the obstacles that were before me. The ritual was dependent on the subject's faith - if i didn't have faith in my Guru, the ritual wouldn't work.

After the ritual, he smiled and said to me, "Now, you can ski.."

i was completely dumbstruck.

As i wrote to Rinpoche later, thanking him again, whether i could ski or not ski - to me, that was irrelevant. What touched me so deeply was his kindness. His advice to me not to go skiing was already more than enough kindness, yet to go through the time and effort of removing the obstacles simply showed his sincere compassion for little schmucks like me.

It may not be a big deal to other people but it was a huge deal for me.

Everyday, i am grateful for Rinpoche's selfless kindness - his kindness in spreading the Dharma through his teachings, directly and indirectly, and his patience with me - and am thankful for just having the merits to be in his presence.